Blueprints For A Guitar Stand

IF YOU HAVE A HEART ... SHARE ... (But it goes on mus) *

is defined

"intolerance STUPIDOSIO"

all symptoms that may occur because of the inability to digest the STUPIDOSIO, the main sugar content in the brain evil humanoid. E 'caused by a lack of patience, the enzyme that breaks down into simple sugars LO STUPIDOSIO which are then absorbed from the gastrointestinal tract, liver, testicular as well!

continues incessantly my campaign in the hope that some brain awake from the torpor of media and find the path of light.

"If you have a heart .. . share ... "

is a moral blackmail.

And who post similar links

E 'blackmail

c'avete And just what to take with me. It 's so. Point. Fatevene a reason, but before you finish reading this handbook.

Allow a premessina.

post a link to a leukemic child and accompany the same link with the phrase "If you have a heart, share, before being a full-blown moral blackmail, is a boiata of atomic proportions.

If I had a heart hominid that places are indecent, would you go in person to pediatric oncology and would you give a hand on the ground. So stop making fake and pathetic move your ass, because consciousness does not come back clean with a click and cabbage that passes for "good" if you share a similar image on your wall. Steps for mona! And with good reason!

Since there are not even 8 am and annoys me to start the day by sending you to hell, I'll let Susan Forward is to do it for me!

Copincollo his description of moral blackmail and I leave her here in SERIOUS hope we do not want to complain because "E 'trooooppo luuuungo" and want to realize that the lesson of this post will serve for Life.

will improve you, making you realize (perhaps) that you are endowed with cosmic insignificance and help you sgam who wants to put in the bag!

my sincere wishes! :)

the moral blackmail

It 's a powerful form of manipulation in which a person close to us threaten, directly or indirectly, to punish us if we do not do what he wants. Usually this kind of blackmail is implemented by the very people that we are closer and with whom they have close relations:
can be parents, spouses, children, friends, employers, colleagues in general, those persons who we keep and who want to get something from us that is contrary or not fully respond to our feelings, plans, expectations.

In his book Emotional Blackmail (literally emotional blackmail), Susan Forward, however, contends that blackmail is expressed, the underlying message is clear and it is: if you do not give me what I want I'll make you pay . This is certainly a sad message that life, as it often creates fear, guilt, anxiety and urges us to move in a direction that is not exactly what we want or the one closest to our deepest desires.

But how is this possible?
Typically, the blackmailer is someone important to us, a person who knows us very well and knows exactly what are our weaknesses: in this sense it is easy to get what he wants, leveraging on our fear of losing the relationship or conflict, our sense of duty, such as remembering what he has done for us and what we should be his debtors, and finally sull'indurre in us a sense of guilt, making us feel responsible for his malaise.

From this point of view is easy to see how often the punishment ventilated by the blackmailer is the ability to affect the relationship in which we are engaged and to which we , the possibility of losing respect and value in the eyes of the person who is close to us and that there is a veiled blackmail, in making us feel selfish, evil, cold and indifferent if we do not accept to do what is required of us.

Although not all the blackmailers have the same style is important to note that the common ground on which they move is fear: fear of losing the person they care, fear of change, fear of rejection, fear of losing power within the report. Specifically, what is the style of blackmail? According to their mode of action, distinguishes four categories of blackmailers Forward: punitive, self-punitive , victims and deceivers.

The punitive

We do know exactly what they want and the consequences to which we will be faced if we are not complacent. Typical expressions of this kind of blackmail are for example: If you accept this job I'm leaving, If you leave me you will not see the children if you do not agree to work overtime as well forget the promotion.

The self-punitive

enact more subtle blackmail and leverage on our compassion and our feel responsible for them. Their blackmail is expressed in seeing that if we do what they want they will be so upset that they are unable to behave normally. In this sense they can also threaten to damage their lives, of harming, endangering their health and happiness.

Victims

not make threats and threaten to get even evil, however, are keen to tell us unequivocally that if we do what they want, they will suffer and the guilty will be ours alone.

deceivers

is the more subtle kind of blackmail are those who encourage us, we promise love or money or career and then we explain that, if we do not behave as they want it, we do not receive anything.

In fact there are no sharp boundaries between different types of extortion and blackmail are generally very good at disguising the pressure to which we submit to the point that when we feel, rather tend to question our perception of what is happening, rather than the behavior of our opponent.

In this regard, there is often even a huge difference between what is objectively a blackmailer, and how benevolent and full of tenderness with which he interprets their actions.

In this sense it is almost inevitable to feel confused, disoriented, angry, it is easy to feel uncomfortable, have the perception having to change the situation where you are and promise to do so constantly, only to give in to blackmail and feel more and more often used and robbed of their freedom.

In these situations, you run the risk of having doubts about his ability to do what you really want and that feels good, to lose confidence in its determination and you end up questioning their self-esteem.

However, because a blackmail occurs requires the participation of two people: a moral blackmail can not function without the participation of the victim , participation which is expressed in letting the blackmail happen and repeatedly occurs .

However, this is a more or less conscious and in any case suffered . In fact, sometimes we do not realize to be entangled in this dynamic, other times you may be aware of the blackmail, but still be able to cope since it affects our weaknesses and forces us to react in ways that were learned from experiences already lived and contribute to the persistence of blackmail. Some of these weaknesses are, for example:

• a excessive need for approval by the people we love that drives us to do what they ask us though is different from what actually would like.

• the need to maintain peace at all costs avoiding any conflicts.

• tendency to assume too much responsibility for the lives of others that often has the corollary to feel guilty about anything that threatens the welfare of the person with whom we report.

• the temptation to give up their well-being and their wishes in order not to see the person you love suffer , the latter, perhaps more than any other, is a dynamic that leads to being trapped in the psychological needs of the other losing the ability to analyze problems and the ability to understand how to best solve them.

In any case, it is perhaps worth noting that in general the blackmailers are not monsters. Often in fact the moral blackmail arises within a relationship full of important aspects of good and positive and blackmailers are rarely motivated by malice, in most cases, as we have seen, they act in the wake of a deep fear. In this sense, becomes the moral blackmail their way to defend against painful and frightening feelings. As we have seen it of a relational mode definitely harmful: in the first place for the person being blackmailed, in time for the report itself and therefore also for the blackmailer . From the above, it is clear how important it is out of this mode of relating.

How to get out The first step is to recognize what is happening and realize that you are involved in the relational mode of moral blackmail, the second step is given by try to understand the deep reasons which have their origin in these procedures is essential and then try to correct the behaviors that make us sick . In this process

is absolutely essential to clarify and define its position within the report, highlighting the feelings that you feel, say what you need, give what you have or do not are willing to accept, give another chance to express themselves the same way and then give the other the opportunity to choose freely what it going to do to continue the relationship itself, then accepting its decisions.

From this point of view it is essential to be able to embrace change, take risks and be able to tolerate that appropriate behavior can also result in immediate, albeit temporary, discomfort even greater than that already carried out, all this in view of increased personal well-being and a better working relationship in which we are involved.


Cri

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let me conclude as I began

IF YOU HAVE A BRAIN

AND WANT REALLY DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR THE NEXT

SHARE THIS POST!

Maybe it will not you ever say

but certainly some readers will thank you for all eternity!

And if you do not have it or you have it but use it annoys you ...
IS THE SAME!
So be happy and spends a great Friday! :)

* But it's the Music (Trieste) Go to hell


PS
WANT YOU SAY THAT THE CHAIN \u200b\u200bOF SANT ' ANTONIO COME IN moral blackmail ... OR YOU PREFER YOU LEAVE THE SURPRISE??

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Seriously ... If after reading this post I understood that you are embroiled in one or more moral blackmail or that you are putting yourself at work and wanted to change things, I recommend the book by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier " Guilt . Tea editions. Cost between 8 and 10 €. Pages 293 (showing that it is not an easy topic to be addressed). It is located in virtually every library.

To me, this book has given a lot. I hope you too! :) Hello